August 3rd

Can you believe it? Two thirds of the year has already gone by. It seemed like only yesterday when I walked into my dorm room as a freshman. OK, maybe not yesterday- but what I'm trying to say is, time flies. Which means, it won't be long till 2009 rolls in, and everything will change!

The reason I'm reminiscing is because, I'm not ready to handle the next few months. The next couple of months will determine my future. During this time, I'll be sitting 13 exams, doing 4 presentations, reading 24 clinical papers, and performing a research in astigmatism.
I guess the only thing I can do is to take things as it comes. But boy, I hope I come out of it alive!

As I promised, I will write about "Shelter". (This blog does a good quick rundown of the story.)

Let's start with the positive.
Trevor Wright did a superb job playing Zach, the main character. I'm always impressed with young actors who can convey such emotion through their work. It made the movie meant so much. Without him, the story might not have been as successful.

And now to the negative.
This movie felt very disjointed. The scenes did not flow from one to another. Yes, the message did get through to the audience, but it was not delivered with flare. I can't help but find that they did a bad job at editing the movie.

But the really cool things about this movie is: it reminded me of how difficult it was when I realize I was gay. After being out for 1+ year, I've forgotten how much I've learnt, and where I used to be. After watching this movie, I had a chance to reflect on the "Why me?" feeling I used to have. I feel privileged to have had such an experience. It wasn't a nice feeling, but if I haven't had gone through my coming out, I wonder if I would have been an ignorant, persecuting freak.

After coming out, I felt justified to "play" around. It seems like most gay people do, and is part of the gay culture to be promiscuous. Lately I've been thinking, being gay doesn't mean things have to change. It doesn't mean you have to go out and do what gay people do, and be a stereotypical gay (if that exist). I really felt that the movie conveyed a sense of relationship between the two main characters. It showed that being gay is not about sodomy, but the uniqueness of having the ability to experience a deep loving relationship with the same sex.
What I'm trying to get at is, the movie encouraged me to focus on having meaningful bonds with a guy before jumping into bed with him. Because we're all unique individuals, and we're worth more than just a quick fuck to someone else.